Because of Love

I am angry
Because of love,
I am speechless
Because of love,
I am withered
Because of love,
It is love that fuels my rage,
For others actions and their choice to hate,
It is love that makes me choose
To keep trying to get through,
Hate is such an extreme
When love is a simple solution,
But hate steeps and comes from years
Of misplaced aggression,
And denied fears
Hate is the cut
That relieves some of the pain,
When love seems out of the way,
You hate because you are withered,
Hate because you are speechless,
Hate because you are angry,
Hate because you have not been shown
Any other way,
And because of this I will love

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​When Alanis was God

December 31, 2006, Revised 2017

When I was 9

Alanis was my idol.

Then came puberty,

that crimson age of loss,

of insecurity,

and I lost it.

I lost it all,

all that innate

proud feminism,

That innocent security,

The accrued will to be,

and certainty

that as long as I tried,

God damn-it,

I could fly.

Then there was you,

With smug looks of judgment,

For me to defeat.

But now I see.

Now I see

Your cynicism

In looks of chauvinism

Masking

insecurity,

inferiority

And I don’t have much more to say.

I’m done trying

To prove anything.

Reach only a little more

No needed boost from you,

No prepared proof,

for patriarchs unknown.

Honest, full-fledged

female identity,

holy intact;

I’ve flown.