What to Expect

May 29, 2015

It is Friday evening,
Once again she has gotten her hopes up
Far beyond any reasonable expectation

She will hope for a happy greeting,
Not too much, nor too little,
She should have expected
no acknowledgment
Secretly she still does

She will hope to be hugged
With no expectation of reciprocity
She will hope to just feel loved.
She should have expected no contact
With any hug or kiss as immediate prelude
to meaningless groping

She will hope for mutual conversation
Respectful and equal in part,
She should expect to be spoke to, not to speak
Lest, she wish to be corrected on et al, mid-clause

She will hope to sleep soundly,
Next to the one she love,
She should expect loneliness,
She should expect complacency with loveless-ness
She should expect, nothing,
But nothing

She should not have to expect
to keep expecting all of this.

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One More

November 2016

For years I slowly shut myself down
I learned to cope
the only way I knew how,
A true scorpion child
my protection from pain
is to sting,
At the cause
At the pain
Until numb,
Paralysis sets in
Seeming cool, callused,
From only my eyes hint at within.
Irreplaceable.
But somehow I replaced.
And convinced myself,
I hurt myself to set you free,
Wherever, whatever,
You needed,
I wanted that for you.

How gifted writers,
Can speak volumes
with silence,
and mute with small talk.
The space between,
afraid, so afraid,
of feelings that remained.

Wondering what just one more
kiss,
One more
talk,
One more
game,
One more
cup,
one more
ride,
one more…

Beginner

Written 2005

Please forgive me
For my inexperience,
My awkward footing,
These shoes are new
–A little too big,
Though they looked
Like they would fit,
I will grow into them
If you give me time,
I know the right footwork
I have seen it before,
Just never danced
a tango for two
And of course,
Like I mentioned
–the shoes

Trust me,
I am not always this shy
That is just a part
Of my inexperience
That we will need to get by

Sometimes I am too bold
Forgive me for this
–Out of the loop
For far too long,
Sorry,
If I come on too strong
I will get the hang
If you just take the lead
Sorry, again,
If I forget to breathe

And sorry for all of my apologies
Please,
Just don’t let me dive in too deep

Dialectic: Love and Peace

February 18, 2017
Away,From you,
You are still with me
Always a piece
Keeps me
Striving to be
A better me
Piece–a memory
keeps me awake
Unwilling to settle for less
Than tomorrow
And judgment-free, me
I neither hear,
Nor see you,
But knowing you are
You were,
You were even possible
To be
Keeps me in motion
Balancing,
Wiser as me,
I thank you,
From my crescent top,
Back and forth,
Up and down
And still I rise,
Out of sight,
Even still
Your memory
Reminds me
Of the proven possibility
Of peace
within me.