Not Meant to

If you forget,

Perhaps because right now

You are not meant to remember.

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Worked So Hard

9/7/2018

We worked so hard to love,
We forgot why;

We worked so hard to simplify,
We forgot why;

We worked so hard to share,
We forgot why;

We worked so hard to multiply,
We forgot why;

We worked so hard to prosper,
We forgot why;

We worked so hard to forget,
We forgot why;

We worked so hard to commodify,
And we do not know why.

Wound

August 11, 2017
My bandage has ripped off
And exposed the wound
I never let heal,
A wound that should
have long ago closed,
Exposed now to air
The hurt is fresh,
And I can see that it is there
I feel the sting,
And unwilling to repeat the past
I stare at it, aware,
And beckon it to close

Things I Cannot See (Sick)

I am sick of being sick,
Of the mental,
emotional,
physical strain,

I would like to walk,
A few steps would be fine,
Without the blurred vision,
And difficulty,
Of underwater locomotion

I am sick of being sick
Of the meek excuses
I must make
For my body’s every ache

This weekly cycle
Is endless I fear
How I will function
I cannot predict
What is my purpose
In all of this,
To go through life
chronically sick?

I am sick of being sick
Of people being sick
Of me
Forgive me if I complain,
If my body cannot cooperate
With my brain,
Forgive me if I am a burden,
I know how burdens can be,
I wish for once
I could fit
In a “normal” category

I am sick of being sick
Of something I cannot see
Of ghosts haunting my mind
My emotion
My every waking motion

I can tell you
That I am trying
And swear this to be the truth
And I know you will tire of me too
I pray, be patient
Do not abandon me
I am sick of being punished
By things I cannot see.

-July 13, 2005

Writing, How I Forget

February 2017

I forget, how did I forget you?
You, the instrument that gives me a niche,
Comfort in the slide
Of liquid,
of graphite over lines
Click of keys,
Let out, letting be
The thoughts, emotions,
Made tangible,
I find you again,
And I am thankful,
I forget, so that I may
Ever ecstatically remember you.

And so I write.