Metaphysics of Me: A Memoir

I was born

A yesterday of yesterdays

Bare,

But skin to my back,

I find family in spectral hues of epidermis,

Find love

Where it was,

and where it was not

to be promised at first

I grow,

stirring,

Determined,

Bossy,

to say the least,

I am a strong stalked flower,

My curls

Lush chocolate petals

I am the butterfly

That from a caterpillar

changed its shape and color,

Before your eyes slowly emerging,

Wings wet

with new and dew,

I come to be through struggle,

Overcoming adversity,

My fears

Are not of darkened shadows

But of the void of unknown ifs,

Fearful possibilities

Of life unlived,

I am the philosopher

With a problem

For every solution,

I am a seeker,

a thinker,

a complex web

Of as yet thought thoughts,

Give me time

I ask,

-So ask we all,

I am building my legend,

Piece by piece,

I am a lover,

Of few,

And all,

Holding my treasured so tightly

For fear they might break,

I give and give,

Wanting so much to multiply the love,

Into endless existence,

I am a creator,

An artist,

The young life before me,

Is my greatest piece,

I nurture,

water,

feed,

teach,

tend,

inspire her

In ways I know,

And in ways anew,

She is my story,

with a story of her own,

I am a mystic,

Finding light

in new corners,

Unexpected beauty

from the universal source,

Finding truth,

In the metaphysics

Experienced as if new,

I am the ill and well

In one package,

My healing and my hurting

Are not easily untangled from each other,

But both toughen the core,

With scar tissue

My inner

And outer

Are reborn,

I am everything

In me,

A soul with many

Names

Titles

To identify me,

But my soul

Ageless,

Graceful,

As it floats through being,

The essence

In all aspects of me

What comes next

I wonder,

But dare not guess,

Suspense

Makes this life fuller,

With richness

So decadent it can be tasted,

Can be sensed

In the air,

In the textures,

In the living,

In the every

Next moment

That will,

And does,

Then still

Inspires.

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Be, For the Lost

Loss,
Of anticipated moments,
Of a hope for something new,
Grief and confusion
Fill this void
What to do,
Without the one
Who was not, was,
and then suddenly lost

Be human,
Be sentient,
Breathe,
This is your moment to mourn,
To find life again
After it’s loss,
Pick up the pieces of
A scattered you,
Learn again how
To laugh,
To live
For love,
For the one
You lost

Alright/ All Right

Pain, but not the tears
Is what makes me doubt my moves,
but something is right

Uncomfortable,
And yet not unbearable,
Yes something is right

But not everything,
The setting is not correct,
Therein lay the work

Some things are all right,
Just, this is not the best place,
This is not our scene

The time is coming,
To make our exit stage left,
Making things complete

What I’d Do

We fuss and we fight
But what you wouldn’t do for me,
You move heaven and Earth,
Plow the world to rescue me,
Damn what you wouldn’t do for me,
And we’re messy,
But beautiful,
And you would give everything,
You vowed to once,
And you do it again and again,
God what you wouldn’t do for me,
And all I can say to even compare,
To repay your everything
Is damn I love you,
And tell me
And I’ll do anything too,
For you

Upheaval

Scattered,
Over the lands
Fragments of family,
Made from love,
Or something like it

Uprooted,
Upheaval,
Makes the grounds unsteady,
Uninhabitable,
In need of relocation

Roots are separated,
And replanted elsewhere,
To find stability,
And resources,
In another land

Division only spreads the space
Where seedlings find
Familiar roots
Next to which
They may grow

Always Family

We were never
Meant to be alone

We were all
Meant to be together
Never meant to go
But if we don’t go
We never remember
Remember to never forget

We were always family
Still are
Just don’t look
Like we expect
“family” to look
–each is different
Each requires
Compromise,
Patience.