Remission

Original mixed media collage

Things I Cannot See (Sick)

I am sick of being sick,
Of the mental,
emotional,
physical strain,

I would like to walk,
A few steps would be fine,
Without the blurred vision,
And difficulty,
Of underwater locomotion

I am sick of being sick
Of the meek excuses
I must make
For my body’s every ache

This weekly cycle
Is endless I fear
How I will function
I cannot predict
What is my purpose
In all of this,
To go through life
chronically sick?

I am sick of being sick
Of people being sick
Of me
Forgive me if I complain,
If my body cannot cooperate
With my brain,
Forgive me if I am a burden,
I know how burdens can be,
I wish for once
I could fit
In a “normal” category

I am sick of being sick
Of something I cannot see
Of ghosts haunting my mind
My emotion
My every waking motion

I can tell you
That I am trying
And swear this to be the truth
And I know you will tire of me too
I pray, be patient
Do not abandon me
I am sick of being punished
By things I cannot see.

-July 13, 2005