Rigged

My achievement was never
Bought and paid,
Never forged,
But made,
Of blood, sweat, tears,
Of sleepless nights,
Of doubting my abilities,
Suspecting,
Deep down knowing,
This system was rigged,
Yet yearning
For the validation;
From Wellesley, Smith,
Mount Holyoke,
Brandeis, Harvard,

The validation.

And then I got it,
Again and again,
And again,
And I walk away with genuine pride,
But anger,
After what it takes,
And what of self you lose,
To face
A system
That is
and has always been
A game
for the rich.

Benchmarks

Benchmarks of my progress
Hooray for me!
Seeming fine to everybody,
And still I worry,

What is sanity when it can slip
So easily?
I’m good, I’m sure,
But how can I be sure?
What if the figurative demons return?
–The ones I was positive
Were exorcized?
Fear of the return is infrequent
But vigilant I remain
Someone needs to be
Watching for the return of
A me I do not want to be
So I go through the motions
The exercise
To keep unisolated my heart and mind

Sagacious

I will be hopeful
But not crush self with expectation,
My determinism here dances
With a deity of patience,
For closeness to the Divine is what is driving,
I will be prudent, remain grounded,
Whatever the result,
For the path is winding and
May lead
The long way around

Proven, All Along

For long you have been trying
To prove wrong the naysayers,
To prove wrong the doubters,
To yes their no,
And no their yes,
Because you knew you were
Able and deserving
Of just as much as they thought otherwise,
You worked so hard,
And only you are left
To see the results,
Do they know from where they are
All you have done?
What you have accomplished?
Or was it yourself
You were really trying
To prove all this to,
All along?

Family DNA

DNA links us,
We are blocks
Blocks of a singularity called humanity,
Inside another grouping, inside another,
In another…
Inside of what is as a whole

life.

We relish and depend on our web
That is family,
But to a point;
Somewhere along the string of DNA,
As pieces of our ancestors get left off, we cut each other off,
We stop seeing the singularity of existence.

It does not matter if I still maintain our shared ancestor’s chromosomes,
But that we all spring from the same tree.
Perhaps we sense the absence when we meet someone who does not look familiar,
But is that not how we make friends;
Find loves;
From those that contain the familiar human qualities,
But yet seem
Different?

We are of the same tree,
Cousins all,
With DNA shared,
Even when distantly,
We are samples of the beauty
And complexity of the web
Of life,
And what we as humans call
Family.