Beginner

Written 2005

Please forgive me
For my inexperience,
My awkward footing,
These shoes are new
–A little too big,
Though they looked
Like they would fit,
I will grow into them
If you give me time,
I know the right footwork
I have seen it before,
Just never danced
a tango for two
And of course,
Like I mentioned
–the shoes

Trust me,
I am not always this shy
That is just a part
Of my inexperience
That we will need to get by

Sometimes I am too bold
Forgive me for this
–Out of the loop
For far too long,
Sorry,
If I come on too strong
I will get the hang
If you just take the lead
Sorry, again,
If I forget to breathe

And sorry for all of my apologies
Please,
Just don’t let me dive in too deep

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Dialectic: Love and Peace

February 18, 2017
Away,From you,
You are still with me
Always a piece
Keeps me
Striving to be
A better me
Piece–a memory
keeps me awake
Unwilling to settle for less
Than tomorrow
And judgment-free, me
I neither hear,
Nor see you,
But knowing you are
You were,
You were even possible
To be
Keeps me in motion
Balancing,
Wiser as me,
I thank you,
From my crescent top,
Back and forth,
Up and down
And still I rise,
Out of sight,
Even still
Your memory
Reminds me
Of the proven possibility
Of peace
within me.

Writing, How I Forget

February 2017

I forget, how did I forget you?
You, the instrument that gives me a niche,
Comfort in the slide
Of liquid,
of graphite over lines
Click of keys,
Let out, letting be
The thoughts, emotions,
Made tangible,
I find you again,
And I am thankful,
I forget, so that I may
Ever ecstatically remember you.

And so I write.

Haunted

July 21, 2017

She is a ghost
A memory
A thought that pulls
And she haunts
But not by choice

For she is haunted too
By this existence
Of loss
Because guilt
Made a ghost of her
Where something created
Was more
Than he thought
himself worth

 

Disappearing

July 31, 2017

Fear in insanity
Made her make precautionary paths
Then erase footsteps behind her
Made her fear
Plots in every thing
Worst intentions everywhere
Her disappearing act
Complete
She bleached herself
From existence
No tracks left
To realize
Everything she feared
Was internal
And was eating her alive
Trying to understand what went wrong
She finds rare forgotten pieces of herself now

Love to Live From

February 27, 2017

The greatest thanks
go to
those who
give a kind of love
we would wish
to refuse;
How bitter
the pill;
Sting!
Of the syringe!
If not administered,
how else
would you exist?
If not
for the
check
Issued,
of IOUs and
deferred dreams
For treatment
That kills
More than just
The tumor
It is love
The kind
We do no write
About
Unconditional,
out of basic
human
necessity
to survive,
with
the pack;
because
we all are
one part
of the whole
this is love
that we would
live for,
and so we
do.