What You Do

I don’t know when it happened
Somewhere between our first look and our last,
I saw you
You,
Not the front you put up for everyone,
Not the absolute gentleman I admire
Not even in your kind heart,
I saw you,
The animal made of flesh and bones,
Forged in the fires of adversity,
I saw you bare,
Sinew, vein and blood,
Muscle,
And I saw these things together,
And I saw your human fragility,
And strength despite,
And holy!
Look what you do to me!
To my corporal being,
That now longs for,
Beckons yours,
For intimate touch,
And kiss,
Taste,
Blood pulsating,
Heart pounding,
Breath heavily,
Senses peaked,
For this is what you do to me,
The want is need,
And need for you how I do want,
Every inch, and every ache,
All of you I want
To take,
In my heart,
In my soul,
In my body,
All of me for all of you,
Dear love,
This is what you do.

I See Us (Colors)

I look at our daughter

And I see

Me,

I see

You,

I see

Us.

But the world,

Petty and shallow

Sees only monochrome,

Sees not the sunken space under eye that is

Me,

AND the straight chestnut hair

That is you,

The smile like cupids bow

From me

The sharp eyebrow arch from you,

The cheeks,

The small ears– Of my father

The chin,

The height,

The perfect creation

In combination of us,

Can’t they see?

Can’t they see?

Can’t they see beyond

Black,

And white?

Yes, they are Colorblind,

To

The spectrum,

To hues never before seen,

The hues that  were made from you AND me.

The hue that is, she.

They’ll deny me,

Deny you,

Deny us “parent,”

Because they cannot dare to see,

What is right in front of them,

Dare to believe,

Dare to accept

Together,

Us.

Being Free

I never meant to
Hurt you,
In doing me,
In being free,
I never considered all the pieces,
Laid out for you,
To see,
A half filled life,
With something missing,
Someone not beside me,
Not of their choosing,
In doing the necessary,
To get by,
These were never steps,
Toward saying goodbye,
This was never about you,
This was always just me,
Exercising
What it means to be
Free

All of You

In every waking moment

and coloring my dreams.

your human scent floods my senses

and widens my eyes.

You are found.

You are the question, and the answer.

The truth & the mystery.

you make my flight or fight response freeze —

Frozen, I await your warm body

to thaw my motions.

emotion running strong.

Passionate heat courses through my system.

Want, to need– for all of you;

I am yours in all I do.

Drown

We were meant to be
I feel it
Yet I hold in my heart
A fear I should have had 3 months into us
When I said
Yes.
I’m exhausted and terrified
Of this all being a lie
Of distortions and cons
That I’ve called life
I’m afraid that by drowning in love
I will do just that;
Drown,
And you won’t extend a hand to save me.
I want proof,
I want trust,
I want honesty,
I want all those things a love as home
Is meant to be.

Forever and Ever

I’m in love
With a man I’ll never fully understand,
There is a mystery in his depths,
A beauty to his quirk,
I’m captivated,
And intoxicated by his everything,
And he is mine and I am his
Sans the limitations of a wedding ring,
We will always find each other,
Across the miles, minutes, hours,
My want of him is more than physical,
It is out of body, spiritual,
And we will always fall
back together,
Until the end of time,
Forever and ever.