All of You

In every waking moment

and coloring my dreams.

your human scent floods my senses

and widens my eyes.

You are found.

You are the question, and the answer.

The truth & the mystery.

you make my flight or fight response freeze —

Frozen, I await your warm body

to thaw my motions.

emotion running strong.

Passionate heat courses through my system.

Want, to need– for all of you;

I am yours in all I do.

Drown

We were meant to be
I feel it
Yet I hold in my heart
A fear I should have had 3 months into us
When I said
Yes.
I’m exhausted and terrified
Of this all being a lie
Of distortions and cons
That I’ve called life
I’m afraid that by drowning in love
I will do just that;
Drown,
And you won’t extend a hand to save me.
I want proof,
I want trust,
I want honesty,
I want all those things a love as home
Is meant to be.

Forever and Ever

I’m in love
With a man I’ll never fully understand,
There is a mystery in his depths,
A beauty to his quirk,
I’m captivated,
And intoxicated by his everything,
And he is mine and I am his
Sans the limitations of a wedding ring,
We will always find each other,
Across the miles, minutes, hours,
My want of him is more than physical,
It is out of body, spiritual,
And we will always fall
back together,
Until the end of time,
Forever and ever.

Gaslit

Hot with anger
The memories hit
And I’m taken back
Back
Back to when I was
Grasping for strands of autonomy,
Staking my claim,
Vouching for
My
Self,
And
Gaping
For the words that will hold
That will make my reality
Real
To
Someone
Else,
And I am voiceless,
Gasping,
Begging,
Please,
To see,
What I know,
To feel what I feel,
Gaslit,
And now I know it,
And the feeling is of airlessness,
Oxygen depleted,
Would this be more real if I were bleeding?
I am ill,
See it plain,
Believe,
I know my body,
This sick,
It’s not just in,
A figment of,
A skewed creation
Of my brain